coming of age
the inaugural playlist for a filmless score, AKA the opening credits
it all started with one song.
as mentioned in my introduction:
the song that spearheaded this whole project was “El Dorado” by Choker. i was in the midst of making a playlist for when i heard this song in a deeper way and it sparked an idea within me.
in that moment, all of these vignettes of hypothetical scenes where this melody belonged came flooding to my mind. Choker paints such a beautiful and visceral image of the hope and hopelessness of young love as the song’s protagonist takes the blame for someone else’s crime.
there were many songs i could have added or removed throughout the revision process, but this one persisted. in this edition, we’ll further explore many of the other tracks that comprise the inaugural playlist, coming of age. but first, we revisit our interviewees to understand their definitions of the coming-of-age genre.
what defines a coming-of-age film?
Chris: For me, it's kind of like I was describing Clueless. There's some type of metamorphosis happening. It doesn't have to be huge, but it's some kind of shift that happens, and it takes place throughout the entire film from beginning to end. You see this big shift to the point where you get to the end part [and] you're like, “Oh, okay, this character definitely is changed at the end.”
Regina: I was thinking kind of in the same realm as someone finding themselves through whatever situation they found themselves in. I guess that’s the biggest thing for me. Sometimes, it doesn’t end up resolved, but something sort of switches in the midst of it all.
Dan: I think coming-of-age movies are a lot about just admitting truth [and] acknowledging that you can keep getting away with living your life one way. OR you can try something else, and something else might make it better, but you’ll know that you tried. And I think the attempt at living life makes life better, even if you don’t necessarily get the results you want. Coming-of-age films deal with the journey of gaining true understanding about who you are and what you want out of life, or what you can handle out of life.
Most coming-of-age films just have a character either admit a deeper truth to everyone or someone that is as important as everyone. And it’s the journey of getting to that conversation. In that regard, movies like Blindspotting — the movie about two gentleman coming to terms with the gentrification of the area — [are] just as much of a coming-of-age story as something like Me, Earl, and the Dying Girl or The Perks of Being a Wallflower, which are about high school students coming to terms with their own boundaries and realizing their place in the world. How it’s both grand (because you can be involved in a community that can make you feel grand), but also small, because ultimately you know you’re just one person and the earth is so big.
post-interview, i listened to the playlist again many times with all of these considerations in mind. Chris poignantly honed in on metamorphosis and Regina made a valid point to highlight how the situations that characters experience don’t always lead to resolution. Dan encapsulated the genre’s ethos by acknowledging how the world may feel simultaneously big and small within these types of stories. i concur that coming-of-age films show us how much bigger the world is than us through whatever the characters have to explore.
these are the feelings and sentiments i’ve captured through this initial playlist. i’ve come to know many of these songs so intimately over the past couple of years, whereas other songs are from this current year but steadily increasing in their impact. additionally, there’s a certain caliber of artists in which the majority (if not all) of their songs would match the frequency of the project: Orion Sun, Dijon, Steve Lacy, Olivia Dean, Bobby Oroza, Warpaint, Mk.gee, Unknown Mortal Orchestra, La Luz, Little Dragon, Fousheé, Sunni Colón, Brainstory, Quadron, and Frank Ocean among them — if their music isn’t in this first playlist, we’ll encounter these folks at some point throughout this worldbuilding journey.
the coming of age playlist is just as vast as the film genre itself, featuring 36 songs total and clocking in at two and a half hours of sound. it sets the tone for a variety of experiences we might engage with in the coming-of-age genre. i also sought to understand the playlist through the definitive characteristics of this genre, as outlined by English film critic Mark Kermode in his Secrets of Cinema series.
the characteristics
1. the protagonists are questioning their identity: “who am i?”
quite often, a coming-of-age film is based around seeking out identity, like Moonlight. my resident film buffs and i waxed poetic about this masterpiece in the introduction, but so does Mark Kermode in his video series. he highlighted the prominence of the following question that was posed to the film’s lead character throughout the film: “who is you, Chiron?”
similarly, in the song “Moonlight” by Forest Claudette, the singer invites us into their subconscious as they navigate aspects of their sexuality and embrace new experiences.
I've been thinking 'bout moonlight
I been thinking 'bout the boys in my life, I guess
It's not like me to be keeping quiet, no silence
next, Kermode explains that vehicles often serve as a visual hallmark that’s both literal and figurative for characters in coming-of-age films. think: a car that fades into the distance, a train speeding through the subway, a boat lapping up waves. a related line that stands out to me in Forest Claudette’s song is “where’s the lighter, where’s your car?” it’s simple and to the point, but really brings you into that moment where you plan to rendezvous with your crush, even if that means sparking up in their car in the parking lot. it literally makes me think about the film Riding in Cars with Boys, but it also makes me wonder about the character’s journey within the song? where are they going? what do they want? do they know what they want?
there’s a high potential to be “Indecisive” in the coming-of-age process. you might be met with more questions than answers during your self-discovery. you might tell yourself “Sometimes I Wanna Be Bad,” but there could be equal opportunities where you wanna be good, sad, angry, or even indifferent!
and depending on how early you encounter certain responsibilities, you might even forget how much youth awaits you, as Sofie Royer sings on "I Forget (I'm So Young)".
I'm so young
Young forever, but I'm also dying
While I sleep, the toy in my hand ages me
It's curtain call, so what if it all fades to black?
ultimately, i think this is where the real existential questions are asked. do the things that you think want actually want you? are the things you’re seeking also seeking you too, like we’ve been led to believe? are you seeking yourself through the lens of someone else?
see also: “ALIEN LOVE CALL” by Turnstile, Blood Orange, BADBADNOTGOOD
2. the setting is soooo important
a distinctive time or setting is key to the coming-of-age genre. commonly, the character is asserting “My Place, My Time,” like Bobby Oroza does on his song of the same name. but sometimes, it’s much more specific than that. for instance, i like films that take place during one day or event, like Dazed & Confused or its aughties contemporary Remember the Daze. on the playlist, Orion’s Belte names their track after the real-life disaster that was “Balloonfest ‘86.” it would be interesting to see a satirical film of youth attending the event that also showcases how oblivious and overzealous the organizers were. the lyrics “we’re fine, doing what we do baby” would contrast the actual events while echoing their naïve belief that everything will turn out alright.
Young the Giant’s “Apartment” speaks of a literal setting while the singer croons about anxiety between him and another person. the apartment is personified as an extension of the protagonist, as entering (or leaving) certain dwellings may spark a wave of emotions similar to engaging with the person who resides there.
3. there’s an element of realistic casting
i won’t dive too much into this characteristic since we will meet our characters and muses in the next couple installments. but how often do youth-centric films take us out of the element by casting actors that look too glossy or mature? and if you set your film in the 1990s, but your actors look like they know about Zoom, Instagram, or doomscrolling? no thank you!
here are a few songs that i think lean into this attribute:
“Reality” by Sen Morimoto — now coming to the stage: maladaptive daydreamers! this song sounds like a monologue where the scene fades to black with a spotlight of the character performing in circus attire (other characters may be frozen still in the background). as theatrical as the production is, the song is also very realistic and i had to refrain from copying all of the lyrics here.1
Oh! I had it all wrong
I had to rearrange
The way I've been thinkingI've been judging myself
More than anyone else
I know the worlds so cruel
And it don't need my help
I'm a fool, I played along
Just like everyone elseIs it heaven? Is it hell?
Getting harder to tellI’m in a room full of souls and we’re all so alone
I get home, I get high, if I’m lucky I get stoned
If I’m lucky, I’ll remember what it is that keeps me going
“Phase” by BLK ODYSSY — this song is emblematic of the dilettante. it’s the kind of high energy track that would propel them forward as they seek a new adventure.
“Teenager” by Don’t Thank Me, Spank Me — this is essentially peer pressure, the anthem.
Everybody's wearing cool clothes
All I wanna do is wear cool clothes too
And everybody's smoking cigarettes
All I wanna do is smoke a cigarette too
And everybody's drinking beers and doing shots
I really wanna do a shot too
Everybody's taking drugs and having sex
I really wanna do that tooOde (Ode) to my teenager
I wish (I wish), I wish it was easier for you
(Wish that it was easier for you) for you, for youlater in the song, the duo returns to this inquisitive, coveting question of “What flavor is that flavor?”, punctuated by the intrusive thought of “(I'm a loner).” i’m not ashamed to admit that i’ve been there plenty of times before.
4. music makes the world go round, or at least advances the plot forward
in Secrets of Cinema, Kermode explains that pop music signifies nostalgia, especially if the film is set in a past era. i’ve seen this happen in countless films. one of my favorite moments of this theme appears in an oft-forgotten film from my childhood, Slappy & The Stinkers. when The Chordettes’ “Lollipop” plays while the titular seal is smuggled in one of the lead character’s bedrooms, it’s a light, heartwarming moment that plays into the frivolity of the song.
in this way, music connects characters as they experience it within the plot. this ties in with the M.O. of this whole project, so there will be many of these divine musical moments to come as the series progresses. just you wait!
for instance:
Triptides’ “Unwound” is for the dance break (well, one of many)! a disco ball hangs in the air, with stars and sparkles swirling around the room.
“Gossip” by Tame Impala would offer a moment to pause, reflect, and reconsider one’s course of action, even if briefly.
5. adult presence: helpful, hurtful, or neutral?
a parental/guardian figure may appear as either a foil or inspiration to the younger main character. in films where adults are not the central characters, they still might undergo their own coming-of-age as their experience mirrors the youth.
for some of us, growing up may bring about a sobering understanding that, in many cases, your parents likely did the best they could with the resources they had as Nakhane sings on “My Ma Was Good.”
My ma was good
Pa misunderstood
And love killed her, if you know it
i could imagine this song in a montage where the lead character watches their mother struggle — to find love, to pay the bills, to center her own fulfillment when necessary. as seen in the film Boyhood (a favorite of mine that Mark Kermode also discusses), many of the mother’s struggles are the result of her own poor decisions. in instances like this, the child might have a limited capacity to see their parent’s full humanity — perhaps even viewing the parent through a strict binary lens, either good or bad. it takes maturity to embrace the grey areas and spectrums of life, even if the resolution is still that your parents were “good”.
to that point, there’s a level of trepidation in realizing that you may be doomed to the same fate as those who came before you. The Thermals’ “Here’s Your Future” offers us this narrative through a religious allegory. since i first encountered this song via last.fm as a teenager, it has always reminded me of a youthful existential crisis by way of religious and generational trauma.
God told his son, “It's time to come home
I promise you won't have to die all alone
I need you to pay for the sins I create”
His son said, "I will, but Dad, I'm afraid”
by contrast, Kid Cudi and WILLOW sing of a life without this kind of influence and finding one’s way in spite of it on “Rose Golden.”
Oh, since I was young, been grooving to my own drum
Ain't that many teachers show me my potential
Felt like a failure, Mama said, “You know better”
Future in my hands, God, she had a plan
Stronger than I know, soon I'd understand
The power I possess, the story of The Chosen
6. intense youthful friendship, or possible enmeshment by another name
with this characteristic, i think of group sing-alongs and those moments of fun that almost become ritualistic. certain rites of passage like spending your Saturday afternoon window shopping at the mall (with enough money for a movie and a meal at the food court, nothing more) or the quintessential dancing while getting dressed montage. there’s a tinge of platonic romance in these moments, as you’re serendipitously reminded that your friends can also be your soulmates.
we’ll be introduced to our stars and their posse soon enough. for our protagonists and their friends, “youth is a chore” as heard on “Gabo’s Last Resort” by The South Hill Experiment. this disco song evokes the energy of an endless summer, while offering us the perspective of someone who’s much older looking back on life with contentment.
on the other side of feeling content is disillusionment, another theme that may persist during adolescence despite one’s best efforts, (as it has in many of the coming-of-age films i’ve enjoyed). Santigold’s “Disparate Youth” highlights this fairly well.
Oh we said our dreams would carry us, and if they don’t fly, we will run.
i think that “Change” by King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard encompasses many of the characteristics on this list, but i’m including it here for the following lyrics:
What would it take
To build an ark for me and my friends?
Escape this old place
With all that creeps and fish in the sea
And all that flies
And all the bugs inside of me
Take all the good things
And leave the human beings
there’s a simultaneous listlessness and hopelessness in this odyssey-like track. listening to the instrumental parts of “Change” prompts flashbacks of various moments of my late adolescence (with or without friends). the stages of this song symbolically represent these shifts in life and recollection.
see also: “Wait Up (Boots of Danger)” by Tokyo Police Club
7. young (first) love
based on the way i’ve devised the story thus far, this will be one of the more prominent characteristics that we entertain in this series. for this specific characteristic, i look to Laila!’s debut album Gap Year!, which has the essence of (unrequited) puppy love. i could imagine someone serenading their crush with “If U Don’t Know By Now” or sneaking it onto a mixtape of other lovesick jams. knowing that she produced the release herself adds another element to this song’s inclusion.
with New God’s “Firework”, it’s the Beach Boys-esque inquiry of “will she be there?” that makes this song feel like the moment of summer when there’s just as much time eclipsed from the season as there is left to experience. you relish staying up way past midnight and perpetually chasing the sun. i also imagine flying high on a swing set to the song’s energetic and explosive intro.
here are a few other songs that lend to this aspect of the world i’m building.
“Big Mike’s” by Dijon — for when you’re just so enthralled with someone and all the parts that make them who they are.
I like how you look when you get good news
I like how you look when you’re dancing to your favorite songs
I like when you’re mad, I like when you get mood swings
“New Past” by Sea Moya — the story of this song and its visual lean into the concept of music as a time capsule. i love songs that sound like they would play at the end of an 1980s movie that’s set in the 1960s. or a 2000s film set in the 1980s, perhaps with music that’s a bit asynchronous.
I can see you clearly and I’m ready to start
My new life with you here in the past
Cause all I ever wanted was to dance with my love
You and I, we’re leaving
We’re gonna be groovingI will meet you there
And I will bring my dance shoes, and we’ll dance where
The light will cut the air
To make way for our dance and the others stare
“dirty dancer” — Orion Sun sings of wanting to be desired and thinking of that person all the time.
I just wanna be the one you want to move with, want to groove with
“They Dream” by Bear in Heaven — i highlighted the following lyrics when i featured this album on things i collected, but it bears repeating.
And he really loves her
And he stands unsure
Of himself
And she really loves him
And she thinks about them
“Homebody” by Juto — the intimacy of both this song and its video are relevant to the curation of a filmless score. we’ll return to part two of the video (“Options”) later in the series.
I don't need no one to love me
You can come be the homie
Maybe watch a couple movies
Gotta go because I'm sleepy
8. loss of innocence, loss of faith
in the coming-of-age genre, a crisis or unexpected scenario typically forces the main character to grow up. Kermode analyzes this as a loss of innocence, but i also interpret it as a possible loss of faith in how you thought the world was supposed to be. for instance, the narrator of “El Dorado” experiences this type of heartbreak and betrayal while repeating the following line:
Why’d you give up on me?
i related to the way that Choker sings like he’s on the verge of tears, offering the listener a cathartic sound from beginning to end. he also directly names their ages when betrayal first occurred, highlighting how he felt taken advantage of by someone slightly older.
i think there comes a point with growing up where you think you know everything, before experience and wisdom humble you enough to accept you actually don’t know much at all! this is what i think of when i hear “Younger than I Was Before” by Laundry Day. this title track (and, by extension, their entire album) sounds like a CW music supervisor’s wet dream. just imagine the possibility of this song playing during a montage where two main characters in love attend a football game and make eyes with one another, or they walk down the crowded school hallways sneaking glances at each other. do you think others in the school are privy to their secret affair? i think these lovebirds are too blissfully infatuated with each other to notice, but whatever they experience in their relationship changes them forever.
when it comes self-acceptance, you begin to adapt to the possibility that the only person coming to save you is you, as expressed by Sean Nicholas Savage in “Ain’t What It Used to Be.”
I’ve been holding out for my only hope, but it’s me
i also reflect on James Blake’s “Say What You Will” for this characteristic. this song, like Sen Morimoto’s “Reality,” reminds me of being stuck in the rat race while life passes you by. “Say What You Will” feels like the melancholic hum that persists throughout life for the chronically depressed — from the clapping to the snapping to the near-droning harmonies. if you’ve ever seen James Blake perform live, then you know he sings with a strong conviction. it’s completely captivating, like the moment of this song when it goes acapella before the snaps return, and the beat reprises as he ascends into a warbling falsetto.
Well, I've been normal, I've been ostracized
I've watched through a window as my young self died
I've been popular with all the popular guys
I gave them punchlines, they gave me warning signs
I look okay in the magic hour
In the right light with the right amount of power
And I'm okay with the life of the sunflower
And I'm okay with the life of a meteor shower
i think that any song that “breaks the fourth wall” with the inclusion of counting down or other technical aspects that make you feel like you’re in the studio session belongs here. “Rose Golden” teases this sort of introduction before we get the sweeping orchestral melody that sustains the song. Kid Cudi, James Blake, and Sen Morimoto all vocalize their struggles in the form of fables, leaving the listener to understand that there’s a moral to their stories for someone.
9. is it the end or the beginning?
as theorized in the introduction, coming-of-age films frequently situate and suspend us in a moment of a character’s life trajectory. it’s possible that the story might end on a note that leaves the future up to interpretation. similar to the time and setting characteristic, we may be left wondering whether a sequel or prequel exists to fill in the missing pieces. still, there’s enough of a lesson presented for us to mull over and discuss with other viewers.
i have a similar experience listening to “Hey Bog” by Avey Tare.2 it’s a long song full of wander and wonder with introspective considerations of what life used to be (oh the possibilities). throughout the lyrics, nature offers a mirror of the self. the song also mentions specific ages where moments crystallize:
Hey bog, let me sink in
To the me I think I mean, little bits of everything
Are all that I know
I was five when I got rusty
Yeah, fourteen when I first trusted
no matter what stage of life we’re in, life is full of cycles and patterns that may repeat if we don’t heed certain lessons. how many times post-adolescence have you felt like a teenager again? and not that you necessarily feel young, but perhaps inexperienced, insecure, angsty, disoriented, lovelorn, misunderstood, and/or hopeless all at once? you might harbor these feelings while consistently and pridefully reasserting that you’re good, but it’s a façade. to that point, “Automatic” by Crosslegged puts me in the mind of an adolescent wondering if i am sitting with the cool kids at their table or if they are actually occupying my table? are they laughing at me or with me? either way, i might laugh louder to keep from crying.
one of my favorite tracks of this year, Infinity Song’s “Comedy,” leans into these puzzling and peculiar feelings with hyena-like laughs and guffaws appearing throughout the song’s momentum as they seemingly accept their fate.
So I guess I'll die laughing (ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha)
I'll die laughing alone (ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha)
and even as the credits fade to black, the questions might persist. Wet Baes provide us with the perfect resting place for our pondering on “Is This Really Happening?”
It’s your life now what you gonna do about it??
ultimately, the playlist is a collection of meandering thoughts. it’s all of the emotions that one might waver through in their uncertain adolescence (or beyond). at times, you might even feel like you’ve got a handle on things, but constantly have to fight the urge to sabotage your own efforts.
that’s why there’s such variance in lengths and sentiments: “Change” by KGLW is 13 minutes long, whereas “Gossip” by Tame Impala clocks in at just 55 seconds. this playlist, probably more than any other one in the series, conjures up the feeling of making a mixtape for a new crush (or at least someone you want to impress). plenty of genres are represented here: disco, punk, R&B, soft rock, psychedelia…the list goes on.
it’s the kind of soundtrack where things feel hopeful and full of trepidation all at once. it’s about figuring out who you are through a mix of heart-swelling sounds and emotions too big for your body. you might combust if that person you admire ever looks your way.
the playlist offers reflection when trying to make sense of one’s place in the world and approaching certain revelations with insight and maturity. like, you mean to tell me my parents are actual people?
i think of being young, hopeful, and perhaps “in love” with someone who doesn’t even remember your name (or at least you thought). or constructing an identity based on obsessing over popular culture with the aim of being singularly unique™️. or even being a little bit of a late bloomer.
you might spend so much effort contemplating one’s place in the world to eventually realize that you’re right where you’re supposed to be (even if it’s reluctantly). and if you need to escape, that feeling will set your blood on fire until you have no reason but to make a dash for it. but are you running away from that scene or yourself?
coming of age: the playlist
(YouTube)
suggested viewing
the featured episode of Mark Kermode’s Secrets of Cinema on the coming-of-age genre
prior sync placements
according to Tunefind, only four songs on the playlist had existing sync placements in film & television. check out each link to see which shows or movies they appeared in:
relevant reads
kids tend to be curious about the world they inhabit, but admitting that you had deeply existential questions as early as the first grade is so relatable.
one thing you may or may not know about me is that i’ve been an Animal Collective fan since my teenage years, with an affinity for the band and all their solo projects.